in fifteen minutes I’m going to tell you the story about how my dumb lesbian ass willingly went into a dorm with four bros
it’s been more than fifteen minutes I know but you will get the full scoop on this (also I’m okay)
Okay STORY TIME
so I was walking back from work around nineish and my neighbor/seminar classmate is in the hallway talking to his girlfriend. he sees me and he’s like “hey!! hey classmate whose name I don’t know” so I turned around and was like “it’s Hayley.”
and he apologized for not knowing (I didn’t know his name either so I wasn’t mad) and asked if I’d started my first paper for seminar. he asked me what it was on so I told him and he was like “I’m so stuck I have no idea what to do,” so clearly the natural response for my stupid ass to make is to offer him help – I told him to knock on our door and ask for me if he needed help.
maybe I did this because I was still in tutor mode from work. maybe I did it because no one takes those offers up anyway, right?
wrong! a half an hour later, as I’m getting ready to shower, he knocks for the door and asks for me, and all my roommates don’t believe him bc he’s this dude bro who clearly works out and is wearing a johnny cash tshirt. like how fake deep is that. i would never associate with a dude bro
so he invites me back to his place and as I’m walking there I’m like “this could very possibly be a bad idea,” but I go anyway bc I’m a dumbass with no sense of self preservation.
he lets me into his apartment and I’m immediately hit with the bro-ness of it all: a sports illustrated poster on the wall, protein powder EVERYWHERE, posters of beer, snap backs, flasks, and a guitar because of course there is.
his room is no better, and alarm bells are just fucking going off and I’m trying to think of a quick exit. then he tries to close his damn door to his own room and I’m like “hold up that stays open” and he was like “oh yeah I’m sorry I didn’t think about that,” which was….considerate.
two hours, two cigarette breaks later, one opening paragraph later, and one of his roommates trying to hit on me later, he starts talking about intersectionality and my mind goes ?????????????? and we legit talked about rape culture and trump and how fucked we all are. eventually we started talking about the law and feminism so then I tell him I’m gay and his immediate response is “do you get those stupid microagressions from guys who say they can turn you straight?” and it took me a minute to respond bc the fact he even knew that word was so bizarre it was like worlds colliding.
he then tells me he thinks his little sister might be gay because he thinks she told him while he was drunk one night but he couldn’t remember so he asks for advice because he doesn’t want to upset her because, in his words, “I’m not gay so you know I don’t understand it like you do.”
then, because the night of course could get weirder, he tells me he writes poetry but doesn’t tell anyone because he’ll get shit for it bc he’s supposed to be a “tough guy” and masculine and shit and I just feel Jesus sending me a message through this kid that I shouldn’t judge all dude bros by the bro-ness of their looks but I also wanna stay sexy and not get murdered so I’m gonna keep doing that. sorry jesus.
finally I left because I was tired and also I had to wash the smell of bad cologne off of me but guys this was an experience please believe me. i was standing in the shower before just letting the water wash over me as the whole two hour ordeal played over in my head because we laughed, we talked. he told me something about himself no one else knows, we exchanged political ideas and fist bumps. we bonded over the stress of a seminar paper and now we are forever changed by this event.
so that was how my dumb lesbian ass willingly walked into a room with four dudebros in it.
I was so scared this was gonna go badly but turns out it’s about making new friends in unexpected places
shoutout to paris hilton for not abandoning her ‘micropig’
when it turned out that it was a normal piggy who grew up to be a big fat fatty piggu
Actually that’s pretty standard size for a micro pig. Pigs are ENORMOUS, dude. The average pig on a farm is 7 feet long and over 700 lbs. A normal pig would be much bigger than Hilton.
EDIT: This is a photo of the world’s smallest recognized breed of pig, the kune kune. I’m sorry cartoons lied to you all.
This is the pot bellied pig, another famous “small” breed.
This is your average adult pig.
Big ole’ pigs.
Reblogging because I feel so misinformed about pigs right now. My life is a lie.
its almost as big as a cow for fucks sake what the hell is going on here
When you love someone.
When you love someone, you love them in every way.
You love their insecurities. You love their imperfections. You love the way they walk, they laugh, they stare at you. You think of them the time you close your eyes at night and every time you wake up in the morning.
When you love someone, you get mad at them. You get hurt. You hurt them as well. You put scars on them, and if you love them so much you try to heal those scars. You try to make them feel better. You make them feel more loved.
When you love someone, you dont just give up on them. It gets harder each day. But then you love them and no matter how hard it is, you stay because it is still harder without them. So you try to fix everything.
When you love someone, you wonder whether they have eaten, they went home safely, whether they are feeling alright or bad. When you love someone you want them to be always in good condition.
When you love someone, you want them to stay with you forever.
When you love someone, you wipe away their tears, you hold them as long as they wanna be held.
When you love someone you just dont let them go away.
You dont let them feel like they are nothing.
When you love someone you make them feel your love.
